How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You have to summon your inner elephant
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
