The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
