i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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