dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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