everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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