I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
