Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
