I want to make a zoo with you.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
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