He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
