I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
