so that wasnt chicken after all
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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