i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
