Hey man sorry I got all grabby
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
