Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Everyone says I win the strip club
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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