yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
