apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
