My room smells like vodka and shame
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
