You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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