Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
