Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
