Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
