apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
