my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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