He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
