he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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