I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize