i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
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I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
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She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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