he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
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Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
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Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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