And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Redeem this text for a blowjob
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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