While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
