is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
