youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
