Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
