two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
