I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
