Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
