we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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