she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is