Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.