One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
no, he came in my armpit
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize
