i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
