Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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