Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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