And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
