your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
