The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
