I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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