i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
