I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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