I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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