Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
