Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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