She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
