I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
