just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
