More tranny stories later!
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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