he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
