whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
