I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
