Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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