I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
