..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
