We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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